Written by: Natalie Yeo (Photo by: Ronald Lim)

A poem on nearness

In the midst of all of life’s busyness,
I take a moment to breathe,
and be with You.

My heart is still and all else is silent.
I sit and rest, prepared to listen.
My mind races and questions:
“What matters most to You?”
Only to hear in return,
“No, my dear, what matters to you?”

Tables turned, I fumble to find words.
I begin to think about what You asked in return.
But when was it ever hard to talk about myself?
Every need, want, frustration, unmet, or unattainable expectation…
I could rant, complain, and share my heart with You for a long time.
It’s just that easy to keep talking about me.

News flash: Is life really supposed to be about me?

In this earthly race, I have learnt that this is who You are:
You’ve always been a listener before a speaker,
a Father before a master,
a friend before a disciplinarian.

As selfish as this sounds,
You’ve always placed me before Youself;
You’ve always showed me that in Your eyes, I matter first.
You’ve showed me who I am through Your lens.

This is how You see each one of Your children.

Whenever I’m with You, I’m abseiling into Your grace —
filled with tender moments,
but also with hard truths,
ushering conviction and repentance.
I love it, yet at times resent it.
Love lies at the core of all You do,
evident, it draws me in to You.

Like fingerprints, this relationship with You
is unique between You and me.
No one in this world shares in our secrets or conversations.
As I ponder a little longer over this,
I am marvelled, floored,
and inevitably immersed in Your extravagant love.
I no longer fight it. I give in.

You win.
You always win.

I am greatly humbled by You, for Your glory.

At the end of the day,
with thoughts gathered and spoken in prayers,
I know who I am — daughter and disciple,
heart given over to You.

Through You, in You, and whenever I’m alone with You,
I understand Song of Songs 6:3:
“I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.”
All I ever want in this life is to be
wholly,
solely,
Yours.