Written by: Amanda Teo (Photo by: Isabel Phua)

What lies behind our picture-perfect Christian life?

When I was young, I learnt that secrets are to be whispered into the ears of the listener, with one hand cupping one’s mouth, eyes darting about in surveillance. From planning a birthday surprise to gossiping about the latest news, secrets are shared only between the closest of friends and loved ones. It forms an immediate bond — one built on supreme trust and intimacy.

Did you know that God longs for such a friendship and desires to share His secrets with you too? Secrets that will draw you closer to His heart and His purposes for your life; secrets that reveal how much He trusts you with His thoughts.

I remember reading a verse that spoke deeply to me one day, and instinctively felt the need to share the verse on Facebook. Yet, when I was about to click ‘post’, God whispered into my ear: “Amanda, that’s just for you”. As His words settled into my spirit, a joy and comfort bubbled forth in my heart as I embraced His personal memo, addressed to me. This personal letter was not meant to be given away or passed around.

On that day, I realised how precious and personal God’s words are! It marked the beginning of a journey in pursuing deeper intimacy with Jesus. It taught me what it meant to enter into my secret place with God — the very place where He has my whole heart, and I have His.

On another occasion, I took a snapshot of my bible during my quiet time with God and uploaded it on to Facebook. God then spoke to my heart and said, “Amanda, why did you share that? Which do you want more: spending time with Me, or informing others that you’re doing your quiet time?” In that moment, I was reminded of Jesus’ word about the Pharisees.

“When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites (Pharisees) who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. (Matthew 6:5 NLT) Instead, you should “find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense His grace.” (Matthew 6:6 MSG)

While I did not physically pray in a public space, I had been making my prayers and revelations from my quiet times public to a virtual space. As I got used to uploading beautiful images on Instagram, this instinct to share my life on social media soon encompassed my life with God. We, tech-savvy Christians today, have grown so used to “publicly praying on street corners” as we share every insight from God on a host of virtual platforms, to the point that we have gained a sense of pride and worthiness in appearing “holy”. Have we made our “Christ-centred” online profiles a perfect masquerade for our lack of devotion to God behind closed doors? Or are we truly living a holy life, whereby our online profiles are accurate reflections of our inner lives?

As a youth leader in church, I always wanted to share every single revelation from my quiet time with my sheep. This meant that I was constantly emptying myself such that my ministry hardly operated from the overflow of my relationship with God. My walk with God became so others-focused that I forgot that my relationship with Him is a private and personal one. I realised that I spent time with God only to secure something to give to my sheep, losing the motivation to seek God for Himself in the process. I needed to return to my secret place with Him.

Jesus often withdrew to the mountains to seek the Father’s heart. Likewise, we need to shut out the distractions of this world— especially from technology and  social media—and completely fix our hearts on Him. In this inner room, God is able to pour out the secrets of His heart into our beings.  His secrets become considerably clearer in this intimate space, as our hearts have been postured to listen intently, as if our ears are cupped to His lips. In these quiet moments, I never fail to know Him more — from knowing what He wants in my future husband (The Ideal One), to discovering His heart for His people, and even to learning what He was feeling in that moment.

When I returned to the secret place where God’s heart is richly poured out, I began to discover a facet of God I had never deeply internalised before: He longs to be my friend. I caught a better glimpse of what friendship with my God entailed: the quiet comfort in knowing that I am fully accepted and trusted by God and the joy in conversing with Him without any inhibitions or fears. This place of comfort and joy is a place of friendship with God — one where I no longer had to try to please Him, one where I could completely be myself.

How great a comfort it is, that He who died on the cross for this world, would count us as His friends. (John 15:13)

My prayer is that we will be a generation that pursues greater intimacy with our Father, ever seeking to know Him and learn the secrets of His heart. Instead of simply publicising every time spent with Him, may we realise the immensity of a thriving relationship with Him in the secret; it is in that secret place that we shall know God personally, and not merely know about Him. May your sacred times spent with Him be filled with secrets you’ll never tell.

“In Him, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, He made known to us the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfilment — to bring unity to all things in heaven and on Earth under Christ.” (Ephesians 1:7-10)

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